The Fix Is Obvious

Every day, I get-despite the best anti-spam measures- in my inbox several emails concerning that dream of men since time immemorial, penis enlargement programs.

Except for the very few men who really are very bejingled, every man at one time or another has felt that his isn't as big as it could be and thinks life would be beter if only it were. And ever since modern science has been asked that question, the official medical answer has been that there is no way to make it bigger and that the size doesn't matter anyway.

Well, size does matter. It matters more to other men-as a social status indicator-than it does to women, in general. But it matters more to women in specific, if they are your woman, and you are a mismatch to their needs and wants.

There are now, of course, phalloplasty options, but they are usually painful and not very satisfactory. But the official line is that there are no ways to really increase penis size in the way it counts: making the organ actually grow larger. The problem is that there are indeed ways, but that they are simply not very good ones. Certain anabolic steroids, used by bodybuilders, can cause penis growth-at the expense of all the other problems these drugs cause, and the enlarged penis often is non-functional. And female hormones-estrogens-cause penis growth too, along with breasts and other female sex characteristics.


If you've ever seen the ads in sex papers, such as Al Goldstein's Screw, for transsexual sex workers, they all report having monster wieners. And they do. The hormones that make them grow breasts also make them grow larger, thicker members, but you don't want that either. So medicine simply tells us that we have to live with what we have and we might as well make the best of it.

A couple of problems become apparent if they eventually do produce a drug or procedure that gives every man the dong of his dreams. For one, making it bigger is one thing: making it smaller may be far tougher. And when these procedures or potions do become common, the man with the smaller member may become in high demand.

What the truly big already know will become more apparent: there is definitely such a thing as too big. Men and women are not universally adapted for successful intercourse. Many women cannot handle the larger penises, not without problems.

My sister, Jane, * was married for three years to a man she felt was truly a wonderful man. Our family were conservative Presbyterians and of the two girls, Sally* was the wild one and Jane the obedient, compliant, churchgoing one. Unlike Sally, she was a virgin when she married the guy, and she had expectations of married sex that were not working at all. They had no children, and finally she confided in me that their sex life was a disaster. She found sex terrifying and painful. After some questioning she inadvertently revealed the problem-Tim*, her husband, was nearly 11" fully erect and 3" across. He was also a religious, compliant guy-not terrifically bright, but a good worker. He had a vague idea he was bigger than average, but he was a virgin when they married too, and flaccid his penis isn't that much bigger than average, so he never got that much commentary.

Very simply, Tim needed to be with a sizequeen or a woman with a loose vagina, and Jane needed a regular sized man. Since they had no children-she said they only had sex once or twice a month because it was so uncomfortable-I told her they should separate and she should have a little experience. Of course, that was a sin, but they were so desperate they did just that. They amicably divorced a couple of months later, and Jane married another man and they have three lovely children and a good marriage. I can only assume their sex life is satisfactory. Tim played the field for awhile and, last week, he sent Jane an invitation to his wedding-the bride is a 5'2", Pat Benatar sized woman, and if my experience is any guide she's probably an absolute sizequeen.

Every day, if not quite as common as penis enlargement sites, we are bombarded with ads and broadsides from Christian groups promoting virginity, abstinence, and no sex before marriage. Now that has some advantages, but it does not provide for situations like Tim and Jane. And it does not provide for the opposite physically, as well-how many women simply are never going to be happy with the smaller men when they are either too loose or simply have a psychological desire for more? The time to find out if you are sexually compatible, not only in terms of sizes but overall instincts and desires-is before, and not after, making a commitment to a lifetime of togetherness and beginning a family. The physical aspect is actually the lesser problem, because while all men and all women are not adapted for copulation, probably 85% of men are physically fine with 85% of women. It's just close enough for "all" to be a persistent false idea. Where there are problems the fix is obvious-find a partner that fits better.